Crimson Surprise
by Caffeine-Faerie
Summary: Dialogue Prompt #1 of my 365 ficlet challenge for 2018 "Is that blood?" "No?" "That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question."


Welcome to #1 of my 365 prompts personal challenge. I have a bunch of dialogue prompts and aim at writing one drabble per day. It's going to cover a myriad of my (favourite) fandoms and ships, the one that fits the prompt best will win. Some will end up as multi-parts, most will be one shots. I'll have the entire set as a collection on AO3, but you can just dip in and out here.

Without much ado, my first prompt screamed Jane and Lisbon. So that's what I wrote.

I own absolutely nothing. Even my muse owns my plot bunnies.

Happy 2018 everybody - let's make it a good one.

~CF

* * *

 _Prompt #1_

 _"Is that blood?"_

 _"No?"_

 _"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question."_

* * *

Jane decided he was most definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time on this occasion. His plan had gone extremely smoothly, of course. But he hadn't taken into account the cheating wife's PA being in on the whole sordid affair, and for some reason, had taken exception to his powers of observation, and decided not to be where he expected her to be for his grand finale.

No, he most certainly hadn't anticipated running around a warehouse with a wild-eyed blonde in ridiculously high heels chasing him with a gun in her hand. How the hell was she keeping up with him anyway? It really was just his luck that Lisbon and Cho would be setting up the arrest in the offices, and his acquiescence to stay out of the way on his occasion would put him in trouble. He had intended to keep his promise to Lisbon and Hightower, this was more than a little inconvenient, and not a little concerning.

What on earth was taking them to long to arrest the wife? Shouldn't they be done by now? Jane scrambled up another ladder, and tried to put some crates between him and the gun. He had a rather uncomfortable itch between his shoulder blades and the sooner this woman was apprehended, the sooner that itch would go away.

"Jane?!" Cho's voice echoed through the building.

Thank god. Jane swerved around a corner and headed in the direction he heard Cho call from.

"Cho! A need a little help…" Jane yelled back as he heard the sound of heels clanging up the ladder, followed by a muttered curse as the assailant got to the top.

Cho looked up to see Jane running along a platform, his eyes widened as the took in the petite, blonde PA they'd missed at the office scuttling behind his friend in a pencil skirt and stilettoes, waving a gun around in pursuit.

"Uh, Boss?" Cho turned slightly towards the door to call Lisbon, while keeping his eyes glued to the chase happening above his head.

"What is it Cho?" Lisbon walked in, and followed Cho's gaze. "Goddamnit Jane, you're supposed to stay out of trouble. You promised me."

"I somehow think this wasn't part of his plan."

Lisbon gave Cho a sidelong glance as her 2IC's comment. Judging from Jane's panic and his running, she had to admit Cho was right. This did not look like something Jane had planned. But the man was cursed with bad luck.

"Cho, do you think you can stop her from here?"

Cho unholstered his gun as he surveyed Jane's projected path. He could see what the man was going to attempt. It was a ballsy move, but he didn't have much choice. He sighted his gun on the PA, and started to draw a bead on her leg.

"On it."

"Cho!" Jane yelled again as he barrelled down a walkover with a pallet of sacks towards the end of it. He was keeping his eyes firmly on the swinging metal so that he didn't misstep, but that itch between his shoulder blades was getting insistent.

Suddenly all hell broke loose.

The PA took a shot at Jane as he jumped for the pallet, at the same time, Cho pulled the trigger to catch the PA in the calf. The gunshots echoed in the warehouse, the PA dropped to the metal overhang with a scream and clutched at her leg, and Jane made a whumpf sound as he fell onto a pallet of pillows.

Lisbon and Cho ran over to the pallet, as Cho waved officers over to the PA above them, and to secure her gun, which had landed on the floor near the pallet.

"Jane?" Lisbon stopped at the side of the pallet and watched Jane scramble out of the pillow fortress.

Jane slide out, eyes wild and hair dishevelled. Lisbon could tell he was running on adrenaline, but he was looking a little pale. He straightened his jacket and gave her a quick smile before turning to Cho.

"Thanks Cho, I owe you."

"Put it on my tab. You alright Jane?"

"Yip, cutting it fine there though."

"I was working with what I had."

Jane laughed, the sound was a bit too bubbly for Lisbon's liking, and when he turned to walk out, she felt like she'd been dowsed in ice water.

"Jane, is that blood?"

He stopped and frowned as he turned back to her. "No?"

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question."

Jane raised his right hand over his left shoulder and felt the back of his jacket around his shoulder blade. Something felt sticky and wet. He pulled it back and looked at his fingers in surprise and then at Lisbon and Cho.

"Oh. Lisbon, I think I've been shot."

Lisbon took one look at Jane's sheet-white face, and, with Cho mirroring her actions, rushed to prop Jane up as his legs buckled.

"No exit wound Boss," Cho murmured as he examined Jane's shoulder and chest as they lowered him to the ground.

"Medic!" Lisbon cried in the direction of the CBI team loitering at the entrance to the warehouse. She watched them scramble as they saw her and Cho holding up Jane.

Jane was still looking at his bloodied fingers in surprise. "How did I not know I was shot?"

"Adrenaline, Jane. You were too busy jumping to notice." Cho quirked a smile as he caught Jane's eyes, before giving Lisbon a worried frown and pulling off his jacket to put against the wound. "Adrenaline, and you're now going into shock. You're going to need to stay with us, Jane."

"I've got things to do before I go anywhere Cho, you know that. I'm sure Red John would be very disappointed if I died before our game was through."

Lisbon could feel Jane start to shiver as the medics arrived with a gurney to assess.

"Single GSW to the left scapula, no exit wound." Cho informed the medic as the switched places.

Jane was now gripping Lisbon's hand tightly. She watched his eyes glaze over as the adrenaline ran out at the pain kicked in.

"Patrick?" She said quietly as she leaned closer to him. "Patrick. You need to stay with me, okay? You're going to be just fine, you just need to stay with me."

Jane's smile turned into a grimace as the shaking got worse. "Teresa, I didn't know you cared."

"Sheep dip Patrick. You know I do."

Jane started to waver as they got him on the gurney, but they couldn't go anywhere because of his iron grip on Lisbon's hand. "Don't leave me Teresa," he whispered, fighting to stay awake.

"I'm right here, we've got you, and you're going to be okay. I promise."

Jane's grip slackened as he finally passed out from the pain, and the medics rushed him to the ambulance. Lisbon and Cho stood, blood covered and solemn and watched them go.

"Boss?" Cho had been watching her the entire time. She was looking as pale as Jane had been.

Lisbon snapped out of her daze and wiped her hands on her pants. They were going to need to be dry cleaned. She started walking to the car.

"Boss." Cho's hand on her shoulder stopped her. "Go with him. You know what he's like in hospitals. Van Pelt can drop your go bag to you to shower and change."

Lisbon wondered when she had become so transparent. Then she remembered who was talking to her. She flashed Cho a smile and a nod.

"And boss? He's going to be alright."


End file.
